By: Jen Belcastro, author of her memoir, Even Strong Girls Cry.
In a world that often tests our limits in unexpected ways, resilience becomes more than just a trait—it becomes a lifeline. I’ve had to learn this lesson firsthand through my own harrowing experiences with illness, injustice, and personal upheaval. Today, I want to share my journey—a story of strength, struggle, and hope—in the hope that it inspires others to find their own resilience in the face of adversity. My story is about how even the strongest among us cry, but ultimately, how resilience and perseverance can transform pain into empowerment.
As legend has it, I was born a fighter. Born too early and destined to die only three days later, I was baptized according to the Catholic faith, as everyone should be if they wish to make it through the pearly gates of Heaven. Right after, I defied the odds—day by day I began to grow stronger—and I went home shortly thereafter! Throughout my life, strength, resilience, and my fighting nature have been among my most attributable characteristics—mostly attributed to me by others who have been part of my journey. Despite hearing these traits describe me throughout my adult life, I wouldn’t say they were the first descriptors I would use for myself. That is, until the unprecedented year of 2020.
While I suspect that 2020 and COVID-19 tested nearly everyone in the world, they pushed me to what felt like my absolute limits. Diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer in March 2020 in New York City (the epicenter of the COVID crisis), I was subsequently denied treatment due to the government takeover of private healthcare in New York—something that should strike fear in anyone who believes in bodily autonomy and our inalienable rights to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. My fight against the government for justice—getting treatment for the cancer growing in my body—became the ultimate testament to my strength, resilience, and fighting spirit. It led me to realize that the qualities others have always seen in me are indeed accurate.
However, what many people don’t realize—and hence the title of my recently published memoir, Even Strong Girls Cry—is that appearing strong and resilient on the outside often masks a totally different reality on the inside. It is extremely hard, exhausting, frustrating, overwhelming, lonely, and all-encompassing, to say the least. There are many private and sometimes public tears shed, countless screams and shouts, and many days when I wanted to throw in the towel. So yes, even strong girls cry.
Very often, a strong girl doesn’t even realize she’s being strong, because inside she feels vulnerable, weak, tired, and overwhelmed. However, at the end of the day, regardless of how this appears to the outside world, there is one characteristic that unites strong girls: we refuse to accept ‘no’ as an answer when ‘no’ is unreasonable.
Had it not been for these qualities, I might not be here to tell you my story. The most important lesson I’ve learned in my life is that you must be your own biggest advocate. You cannot rely entirely on others to fight for you, no matter how much you wish to believe otherwise. Sure, you may have many people in your corner—maybe even lots of them—but the ultimate responsibility for the outcome of your life rests solely with YOU. As this experience has taught me, you have far more control over your life than you might think. I promise you.
I hope that my story inspires others to achieve empowerment through pain, enlightenment through struggle, and self-perseverance through tears, because YES, YOU CAN!
Guest blogger and true warrior, Jen Belcastro, is a passionate brand strategy professional and author of her memoir, Even Strong Girls Cry. Her journey has been anything but easy, yet here she stands — a testament to the strength of the human spirit. Overcoming obstacles that sought to define her, she prevailed —and now, she’s here to share her inspiring story of hope, strength, and triumph. Her message is clear and bold: Yes, you can!